Why Grammar Nazis Are the Worst

Your angry tweet about a typo was spelled perfectly and had impeccable grammar, but unfortunately you’re an idiot.

I’ve said in the past that blog comments are the quarters in a blogger’s tip jar, but leaving a comment about a typo or grammar is like tipping your waiter with a booger.

Someone who truly cares about grammar, spelling, and human beings in general will email the blogger privately when they spot an error. This is the type of person who wants to help a writer avoid embarrassing themselves, not the type of bully who wants to be the one to do the embarrassing.

Have you ever been really proud of something? Have you then ever had someone pick it apart until you no longer felt worthy of ever feeling proud? Imagine if they did that on a soap box with a microphone.

Imagine hitting a home run and then getting criticized that you didn’t hold the bat correctly. You knocked the ball out of the park, but your form wasn’t exactly perfect. Or, you’ve raised three great kids of whom you’re endlessly proud, but your mother-in-law makes a snide comment about how unkempt your house is, or that your kids need lessons in manners, or they need to dress better, or anything else.

There’s this awful trend on the web that encourages people to nitpick spelling and grammar. Calling yourself a “grammar nazi” has become a badge of honor. I prefer to call them bullies, which is what they are.

Does a typo equal stupid?

No, stupid equals stupid. A bad blog post will be a bad blog post regardless of typos, but grammar nazis say they won’t waste a moment of their precious time reading on if they spot one, even if the blog post is good. But they will waste their time leaving a nasty comment. That sounds pretty stupid to me.

Surely they know that there’s an enormous population of people on this earth with disorders that make it exceedingly difficult for them to spell correctly.

Saying that someone who has trouble spelling shouldn’t be allowed to blog or write or publish a book is ignorant and petty. Do they also think mentally handicapped people should be banned from having normal jobs? Do they think that people with physical deformities shouldn’t be allowed on television? For crying out loud, if you can’t do something perfectly, don’t do it at all, right?

Spellcheck exists, but it’s not perfect. Grammarly exists, and I use it every day, but it’s also far from perfect. And someone who struggles with spelling has to work three times as hard to write than the rest of us. Clearly, our ideas are much better than theirs, because spelling is everything.

F. Scott Fitzgerald was a notoriously bad speller. In fact, he was such a bad speller that he addressed his good friend Ernest Hemingway in letters as “Earnest Hemminway.” And speaking of Ernest Hemingway, he was famous for bad spelling also. Jane Austen, Albert Einstein, Winston Churchill, Leonardo da Vinci – they were all godawful with spelling and grammar, yet we don’t consider them inferior.

Now, if one grasps all of this and can recognize that someone with a weakness or disability is their equal and should be allowed to grace the web with their presence, then why in the world would you shame someone for making a typo?

If they really are so outraged, they can blame the editor. And if they’re honestly offended over a typo in someone’s personal recipe blog, they should probably stop using the Internet and start finding their zen.

[Tweet “Intelligent ideas have nothing to do with a properly placed apostrophe.”]

I know the difference between their, they’re, and there, but sometimes I type too fast and even as an editor I make that mistake. No spellcheck will ever pick it up, either. I’ve spelled grammar as “grammer” four times so far in this post even though I know exactly how to spell it. When you write professionally, your hands are sometimes faster than your brain. When you blog several times a day, or even once a day, you’ll never be perfect.

What’s especially awful about grammar nazis is that the worst ones don’t write for a living. The ones that do understand that typos happen, and that even people with English degrees from Harvard will make an error here and there, especially those without editors. Have you ever stared at something for hours and then tried to edit?

If you feel so compelled to tell the writer and Tweet and post on Facebook that you “stopped reading after the first grammar error,” then you’re the one with the problem. You have already spent too much time being angry about something that does not affect you. If you were such a brilliant grammar snob, then you’d be an editor. Are you?

And let’s not forget how easy it is find mistakes as a fresh reader. I’m both a blogger, and I’m also an editor. I don’t edit my own work, because nobody should. When I edit someone else’s work, I know how easy I have it. All I have to do is see what can make it better. The writer had to come up with the idea, break it down, research it, and formulate it into a cohesive story. I’m just over here polishing it up.

By the way, I didn’t even proof this article, and I feel just awful about it.

When you spot a typo or grammar error, take a deep breath and either keep reading or don’t. Intelligent ideas have nothing to do with a properly placed apostrophe.

Like this post? We’re hiring constructive, non-jerky editing types.